


couldn't utter my love when it counted

by rainbowexplosions



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drunken Kissing, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, implied mutual pining, the death is just canon bertie death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 04:23:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19265818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowexplosions/pseuds/rainbowexplosions
Summary: 'When Tim realised he loved Bertie it wasn't exactly an earth shattering revelation.'The time Tim realised he was in love, and the three times Tim tried to confess.





	couldn't utter my love when it counted

When Tim realised he loved Bertie it wasn't exactly an earth shattering revelation, it was more of a gentle realisation of _'Oh, I love him.'_

It had been a boring day, Tim and Bertie had just been trying to sort out their apartment and fix it up a little bit, to make it more homely. They were currently taking a break, Tim was perched on the worktop in the kitchen and was watching Bertie prepare something for them to eat. He didn't know what, Bertie had wanted to surprise him. Tim zoned out a little just watching Bertie and admiring him, admiring the way he looked, the way he moved, and the little tune he was humming as he moved around. When Bertie turned around with an exclamation of "Ta-da!", Tim laughed a little at that but then looked at what Bertie was holding. It was a cake. A cake that said ‘Happy Birthday Tim!!’, and Tim realised he was in love.

Tim nearly confessed to Bertie several times after that.

The first time Tim nearly confessed was a couple months he had the realisation. They had gotten drunk to celebrate, something, Tim couldn't remember what, and they had decided to 'practice' kissing with each other. It had actually been Bertie's idea but Tim wasn't going to object. Bertie put down his bottle and leaned in. Bertie kissed gently, and his lips were softer than Tim had imagined, and then Bertie pulled away. Tim coughed into his hand hoping to be able to hide some of his blush when Bertie says, "Well we should also practice making out, y'know?", Tim's eyes widened slightly in surprise but he nodded, and Bertie leaned back in. _'Bertie is still so gentle'_ Tim thought as he lifted his hands, placing one on Bertie's cheek and running the other through his hair. Tim pulled away first this time and they shared a look before Bertie breathed out a "I think we can do better than that."  
After that final kiss, Tim was well and truly completely and utterly in love with Bertie. _'Like you weren't already'_ he thought to himself. The room was quiet for a minute or two, Tim trying to get his alcohol influenced brain to get his thoughts in order. He started to speak, "Bertie I'm-" and was cut off by a snore. He looked down at Bertie, who had fallen asleep in his lap, Tim sighed but smiled softly, started to play with Bertie's hair and resolves that he will tell him tomorrow, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Another time was the night before they left for the war. They were laying together in their shared bed in their too small apartment. Laying on their sides, Tim just stared at Bertie, admiring him, not even noticing that Bertie was talking to him. Bertie nudged him with his foot and said "Oi, Tim, did you even hear what I just said?"  
Tim replied, stuttering out an "Uh, I uh, no, sorry." and Bertie's face softened.

"What's on your mind Tim?" 

Tim opened and closed his mouth a couple times before speaking, "I - I -" he faltered and changed his mind, "I'm just worried about tomorrow." Bertie’s puzzled expression changes to one of understanding, grabbing Tim's hand, squeezing it in a show of support, and said, "Well, we'll be okay. We'll be okay because we've got each other."  
Tim barely slept that night. He just thought about Bertie, about the war, and tried not to think about how it could all go wrong.

The final time he nearly told him is in the middle of the war. They were hiding under the lead sheet, just the two of them, squished close, arms around each other. Their faces are so close and Tim just thought _'I could kiss him right now'_ and he said,"Bertie." 

"Yeah Tim?" Bertie replies. 

"I think, no, I know, I -" and then there's a loud explosion and they could feel the vibrations underneath them as a bomb goes off nearby and both Tim and Bertie, in their fear, forgot what was happening between them and just held each other tighter, as if they could protect each other from the war if they just held on hard enough.

The next day Bertie died.

And Tim goes crazy.

**Author's Note:**

> this is sad and im sorry jdkbfkdh, i will make him happy though  
> also i hope u enjoyed & ty to luna for editing this for me im lov u


End file.
